Awesome Television: Sherlock

Sherlock was on my list of things I anticipated most in 2012. Its run of three episodes have come and gone in the UK, and the show is slated to run in the US on PBS sometime in the Spring. As I am an obsessive nerd that needs her fix now, however, I managed to watch the show using tunnelbear on BBC iPlayer. It was easily the best television I’ve seen in a long time. Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman are beyond excellence as Sherlock and Watson.

The story arch this series was also just damn brilliant. In A Scandal in Belgravia we’re introduced to Irene Adler, who is no disappointment as Sherlock’s female counterpart. I also absolutely loved the psychological and emotional intensity of The Hounds of Baskerville. For all my gripping about Steven Moffat’s direction on Doctor Who, the man’s creativity is undeniable.  His modernization of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s  19th century classic texts are remarkable. Different enough to feel fresh and surprising, but immersed in the best of Sherlockian tradition.

I love the development of Irene Adler’s character, and her relationship with Sherlock is so much more gratifying here than in the original. Insane, but true. It’s the series ending that really got me, however. My God, that ending was just the fucking best. I laughed, I cried and I was rendered speechless and I’m pretty sure I’m kind of in love with Martin Freeman now. Such good stuff. A third series has been commissioned, although how soon we’ll have that, who knows as Martin Freeman is sequestered in New Zealand filming the second part of The Hobbit.

Audio Candy

Gotye Somebody That I Used To Know

Black Kids Love Me Already

Wherein I Realize I Do Not Have Anything in Common with My 5 Year Old Self

As I’m sure many are aware, Disney has been ransacking their vault as of late and re-releasing their older films in theaters as 3D features. I generally hate this kind of thing, an obvious ploy for money on former glories. Not to mention my disdain for 3D, which in general adds absolutely nothing to the “movie experience.” As much as I’m underwhelmed by all of this (and Disney World), I am a huge fan of Disney animated films. Especially Beauty and the Beast, the film Disney is currently exploiting. A film I was so obsessed with as a kid that I, no joke, knew every word spoken in it. I would run home from school every day, pop it in and sit there reciting every word uttered by every character, main or background, having the time of life.

This weekend, I and a group of friends decided to take a walk down memory lane. So we went, and in a theater filled with children relived the magic. Except sometimes things aren’t as great as you remember them. It turns out Beauty and the Beast makes no fucking sense. How things happen, how we get from plot point A to plot point B, I could not wrap my head around it. I mean I still love it, because you can’t help but love the things you adored as a kid. But wow, what the fuck? Below is a list of questions and concerns that came up as I watched, but was obviously too stupid to note as a kid.

  • Belle likes to read and that is what singles her out as weirdo. I wish Belle was beautiful, liked to read and also crafted dolls out of belly button lint. That’s a real weirdo.
  • Le Fou and Gaston have a real homoerotic thing going on.
  • Mrs. Potts looks way too old to have a toddler aged kid.
  • Where is chip chipped as a human?? And are all those other teacups Mrs. Potts’ as well??
  • That horse is way too fucking skittish. Three fucking times it throws its passenger overboard. Time to get a new fucking horse.
  • Why doesn’t Belle try to escape? And then she refuses to have dinner with him, but goes poking around where he asked her not to? This bitch is asking for it.
  • Those wolves won’t let up.
  • How does Belle’s dad ever get behind her and Beast hooking up? Dude kidnapped him, then kidnaps her. I would be really worried that my kid had some severe case of stockholm syndrome.
  • Cogsworth is losing pieces left and right. Aren’t those his organs?
  • Toward the end, Le  Fou threatens Lumiere with a torch, but he’s been lighting his own wick the entire film.
  • Gaston jumps to the conclusion the Belle is in love with Beast before ever knowing that Beast can like talk, walk, emote, etc. etc. He just assumes she’s got some secret bestiality bug.
  • Why does human beast flair his nostrils? (This I noted as a kid and it freaked me out then as much as it does now.)

Audio Candy

Punch Brothers Packed Like Sardines in a Crush Tin Box

Hugh Laurie Unchain My Heart

My Diabolical Childhood | The Smurfs

Being born in ’86, I can definitely say I was late to The Smurf party. I saw the show a few times here and there, but never really liked it and never gave it any real thought. At some point during my childhood, however, I’m thinking 8 or 9, the church my family and I attended had a guest pastor, and he told us a story.

There once was a child, barely a toddler, whose bedroom had been decorated in commemoration of The Smurfs. Most notably, there was a large poster of a Smurf that sat just above the child’s crib. One morning, his parents went to check in on him, and discovered the child missing. The only clue as to who had taken him? The poster that had hung over his crib was exactly the same, but for the empty space where a smurf had once stood. Smurfs were diabolical creatures that stole your children in the dead of night.

I used to get a lot of toys second hand. Our local thrift store would sell these bags of little action figures and small toys for like $3. Sure enough, there’d always be a Smurf smuggled in the lot and like clock work, my mom always got rid of them. She wouldn’t even let them in the house, afraid its demonic soul would be trapped there. Not being a fan of The Smurfs, it didn’t really bother me. Recently I did try to get more information as to why they had such evil motives, but my mom couldn’t give me any real solid answers. Other than, they’re little blue demons, of course.